saturday

I don't like working saturdays. its not so much the day, its that nobody else is working that gets to me.
I'm the only one in a huge building doing work that isn't crucial. It's hard to stay focused but I got done with what I was working on and went home.

It was around 20-28F today, so not that bad (considering its been 5-12 lately), though there was snow last night which makes everything feel colder, not to mention the wind. I really do enjoy the cold weather though, when I am not forced to work in it. the norwegians up here looked at me like I was crazy today when i walked by with a smile and said good morning as I continued to shovel a sidewalk, "don't you have any gloves?! your going to freeze out here!" ive gotten in the habit of shoveling snow without gloves because of the multiple misconceptions that I wouldn't be shoveling snow that day. This had happened quite a few times before. so most of the time the "I need you to shovel this building and this building today" was sprung on me after I had been told I wouldn't be told that. so instead of going home to get gloves, I simply grabbed the shovel and got it over with. there seems no point in wearing gloves at all unless I am going to be outside for a long time or its in the single digits, so I rarely have them. my hands are getting used to it, too bad I will be going back to humid hot weather after this.

NYC

The guy in the video is a friend that took me to nyc. This is just a few random shots of new york. set to melodious piano music, of course.

nyc

sorry that I havn't made a post in a while, ive discovered this website called "poetry.com" and I started writing poems everyday there, I lost track of my blog a little. I went to new york this week and saw quite a bit: times square, chinatown, little italy, koreatown, central park, etc. basically I did the quintessentially new york stuff to do. It was nice during the day, at night though, everything lights up and the city really comes to life, It really is a night and day difference (metaphorically and literally). I enjoyed times square much more after dark, as well as the rest of the city. although it isn't somewhere I would want to live, Its a nice place to visit.

A poem

strolling unknowingly into an aura of music, a man, void of rest, begins to glide.
staring in wonder at this scene only ever taking place in his own mind.
listening to a forgotten sound:
slow, satisfying, rhythmic, deep sorrow.
a familiar tune that had played within his soul, never aloud.
he found himself not in the present, nor the past, but simply in a memory.

The voice was dying, lost, but continuing onward with gradually fading hope, and aching passion.
the man found solace in it, and it in him.
 for a moment two became one,
 for a moment there was meaning,
for a moment...sorrow created joy.

Imaginary friends

Remember when you were a kid and you had that guy or girl or creature to talk to, but it was your little secret that they were actually real? in your own mind anyways. were they really that imaginary? I propose that they were simply a reflection of yourself, who is quite real. my imaginary friends when I was a very little kid were dinosaurs, of course, they stood on two legs and talked but other than that, just normal dinosaurs. They would protect me when I was in danger and play with me when nobody else would.

when I got a bit older, the dinosaurs said there goodbyes without my noticing and the robots took over. Thats right, giant robots with radar tracking, shotgun mini-guns, grenade launchers, all titanium exo-skeletons and of course, missiles. There was 3 or 4 of them I think. One of them I remember naming "complete annihilation" because he was the biggest of them all, Indestructible (naturally) and had what I called a sonic mace as a right arm. It looked like a giant ball and chain with all sorts of wires and lights inside, so that when it hit the ground, anything and everything would go flying for miles.  Once the robots had done their job of keeping me safe and ultimately just being awesome, a new character arrived, silent and invisible.

This new character didn't have a shape or form, he or she simply was. Never seen, never heard, even by me, which is why I would take them on my top secret missions, who better? They would simply listen and follow, a mentor of my obviously stellar scouting and reconnaissance abilities. my highly trained and unexplainably invisible spy was my comrade and fellow agent by night, but another person walked into my imaginary world by day. the next partner slowly introduced himself into my ponderous subconcious: an ordinary man, and older man with glasses and a beard. he would sit and listen to my questions, my grumblings and my endless string of thoughts about life. he would mostly listen, but every once in awhile respond with simple, logical answers. later I figured out these people in real life are called therapists, well hey, at least I saved alot of money by having my own, free of charge.

these were my childhood friends, and more often then not, my only ones. once I began to make real friends, they seemed to somewhat fade into the background, "imaginary friends are for little children" I told myself, and they were all but pushed out of my proverbial sight.

 I had protectors, friends, and counsellors once upon a time, people search high and low for those things, but never think to just create them themselves. It's cheaper, and thier on call 24/7. Who can argue with that?

They are simply a thought away. why not give yours a visit every once in awhile?

Time

It's funny how we complain about the long days, why don't we cherish them a little more? It seems that days get shorter and shorter as time goes on, and most people like it that way.
We keep schedules to occupy every waking moment of the day, even when we aren't busy, we play games, we watch t.v. we read. why is daydreaming or pondering so shunned in our society? How can the important questions of life be answered if you never stop to ask them?

My journey to nowhere

today after church I had nothing to do, so I walked around for a bit

not getting any warmer

video extras

This is just some other random stuff I filmed cuz I was bored.

short hello